I Won't Say I'm in Love
by Fairytale Mistress
Summary: war’s been over for three years, the pilots have split up, but one is still hanging on to a fantasy that’s deemed impossible. But, on the brink of defeat, who should show up, but the Perfect Soldier…


**Author's Notes**: I don't own anyone or anything. I am poor. Please don't sue. This is a simple, mushy get-together fic, done for a friend in need, lol. R&R are appreciated, but I know its not the best in the world.

**Synopsis**: The war's been over, the pilots have split up, but one is still hanging on to a fantasy that's deemed impossible. But, on the brink of defeat, who should show up, but the Perfect Soldier…

**I Won't Say I'm In Love**

**Meg:**

**If there's a prize for rotten judgment  
I guess I've already won that  
No man is worth the aggravation  
That's ancient history, been there, done that!**

Duo huffed and gazed out over the lake. Three years after the war had finished, the Gundam pilots had split up and he had found himself a comfy little place on a lake shore, where he could swim and fish and sleep in the sun if he wanted—but he was still missing a crucial part of life. The happy-go-lucky God of Death did all he could to keep busy, to keep from thinking about him, but nothing seemed to help… As time passed, he grew sadder and lonelier and his bed grew bigger and colder…

But he was afraid to move on. For two reasons, really. One because he wasn't over the Perfect Soldier—Not that anyone ever really gets over him… And two because he was afraid that what had happened so many times in the past would only happen over and over again… Duo, so akin to physical pain, could stand no more of the emotional variety.****

Muses:

**Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'  
He's the Earth and heaven to you  
Try to keep it hidden  
Honey, we can see right through you  
boy, ya can't conceal it  
We know how ya feel and  
Who you're thinking of**

Duo swatted the gnats in front of him and wished they would stop with the rhymes. He knew he was fooling himself. He knew that there was nothing left for him but to either search Heero out and proclaim his love to him, or to forget about the Wing pilot altogether. Too long had Duo fought the muses (and the gnats) for clarity of mind—too long had they been right about his emotions…

He knew that the townsfolk saw the sadness in his eyes—how they had tried so hard to fix him up with all of the single girls and even a few of the guys in the town. He was, if he did say so himself, a pretty eligible bachelor—resting firm at twenty years old, loving the peace his life held, and not bad off financially, considering that he'd picked up a repair shop business that kept food on the table…

Still though, only one person in particular captured his attention—and that one person was nowhere to be found—not on L2 anyway.****

Meg:  
No chance, no way  
I won't say it, no, no

"I'm not going after him anymore." He stated aloud to his voices. "I've chased him for years—the war was all about me chasing him… He doesn't want me, or he would have come looking for me a long time ago—it isn't like he had to look far…" Duo turned his gaze from the sunset and back to the home he'd built. The crickets were just beginning to chirp, the sun was about to fall beneath the horizon, and the world was settling down for the evening.

Duo walked back up to his front door, and just before entering, he noticed a light coming from the woods surrounding his house. Thinking nothing of it—knowing the schoolchildren loved to play in his "yard" during the summer evenings he turned to go inside… but something stopped him…****

Muses:  
You swoon, you sigh  
why deny it, uh-oh

"What? Who's there?" Duo called, peering out into the wilderness with a trained eye. He didn't see anything, but, if it were an assassin, or an OZ soldier, and it could have been anyone… he would not expect to see them.

There was no reply, but that was to be expected. What assassin would just walk up and introduce himself? Duo shook his head, but something kept his feet firmly planted on the front porch. 'Maybe it's…' but he shook the thought quickly away. 'No, he'd never come this far—he'd never seek me out…' However, Duo didn't think he believed that…****

Meg:  
It's too cliché  
I won't say I'm in love

The light grew closer and closer, swinging from side to side. Duo quickly assessed that it was from a flashlight, someone was walking toward his house.

His muses started giggling at him again, and he rolled his eyes. They loved to torment him—and this was another chance to do it. The person in the woods could be anyone in the world—in all the worlds, why would Duo even begin to think that it would be the one he wanted? 'You can just cool it, ladies, no use in getting my hopes up.' He thought back to his voices, and descended his steps to meet this stranger.**  
**

**Meg:  
I thought my heart had learned its lesson  
It feels so good when you start out  
My head is screaming get a grip, man  
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out  
Oh**

Duo's heart was racing, knowing good and well that the man or woman in the woods could be anyone—but something inside him pleaded for it to be the one he wanted… the ONLY one he wanted.

'I'm only setting myself up for painful night—a painful week if I don't stop now.' Duo thought and shook his head. Hadn't he had enough of the pain and the worry and the tears? He thought for sure that he had cried his eyes dry during the war—when no one was looking…****

Muses:  
You keep on denying  
Who you are and how you're feeling  
Baby, we're not buying  
Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling  
Face it like a grown-up  
When ya gonna own up  
That ya got, got, got it bad

'Yeah yeah, so sue me.' Duo rolled his eyes and headed toward the woods with even steps, he tried to ignore the pounding of his heart and the sweat that had suddenly appeared in his palms… he wiped his hands on his pants and sighed.

"Hello, there!" He called in his 'usual' chipper tone. Hoping this time for a reply. Again, he was met only with silence. He began to see a figure take shape as the light faded, but, he could not make out whether it was a man or woman… he or she was successfully keeping their identity hidden from the God of Death.****

Meg:  
No chance, now way  
I won't say it, no, no  


"Heero." Duo said and cursed himself for bringing his thoughts into the open. He watched the light swagger back and forth, hoping to recognize the gait, but to no avail.

He shook himself to try to rid his head of the stream of thoughts, not that his voices helped any… But he did attempt to quiet them, albeit unsuccessfully, as well.

Then suddenly, the figure came into plain view—the bush faded, the light cleared, the air stilled, and Duo's breath stopped…

**  
Muses:  
Give up, give in  
Check the grin you're in love**

"Heero…" Duo could not believe what he saw. However, he did recognize the unruly hair, and the soldieresque gait of the Japanese boy. 'He's grown up, I see.' He thought to himself, a mere whisper in his mind—the body didn't speak, only came closer, slowly.

Duo smiled his big, happy smile, then checked himself to see that he was still breathing… the anticipation of his correctness was growing too immense.****

Meg:  
This scene won't play;  
I won't say I'm in love

"Hello Duo." 'That voice—deeper...' Duo breathed a sigh of amazement as he looked over Heero's muscular frame. He looked so ethereal standing there before him.

"Heero. What are you doing here?" He asked, trying to remain indifferent, knowing the Perfect Soldier could see right through him.

"I came to see you. What else." He spoke in full sentences. Since when did Yuy speak in full sentences? Duo looked at him flabbergasted at first for a moment, and then grinned.

"I'm glad to see you!" he said, and resisted the urge to pull him into his arms.

**  
Muses:  
You're doing flips read our lips  
You're in love  
**

Heero never took well to voices in his head and he didn't know whether or not to shoot someone or listen to them. 'I'm not in love with him. That's impossible.' He thought, physically shaking his head.

"Something the matter?" Duo queried, "Are you feeling alright? I have some medicine in the house if you're sick…" He found himself blabbering, but that was usual, wasn't it? He couldn't remember the boy he used to be—it having been so long since he'd been forced into a overacted happiness.

Heero bathed himself in Duo's voice. It had been a long time since he'd heard that many words from one mouth at that speed. 'His voice is deeper.' Heero noted, with a kind of heat behind his eyes that he was sure the other pilot would not miss.

**  
Meg:  
You're way off base  
I won't say it  
Get off my case  
I won't say it**

Duo gasped inwardly—'was that just… no, it couldn't be.' He thought to himself. 'Heero can't feel anything. He was born and trained for war—not for love.' The braided boy shook himself, and offered his friend a drink, 'But that spark in his eyes… why is he looking at me that way?'

Heero followed the braided pilot into his home for a drink. He clicked off his flashlight, and stepped into the dark house. Duo flipped the light switch on in the kitchen, and then strode across his living room and lit a fire. "It gets a bit nippy out here, once the sun goes down. Please. Sit. Oh, and would you like water, tea, a beer, maybe?"

Heero couldn't breathe, the house had surrounded him with everything Duo, his smell, his things, his love for life… "Water." He choked out, not meaning to sound as stoic as he had been in the war. He was fighting his dreams, the voices in his head all screamed for him to blurt out his feelings, and longer the battle raged on, the more he was aware that he was losing.

Duo brought him his water, and sat down in a chair, inviting him to sit in the matching one. "What brings you here? I mean, how did you find me?" Duo cursed himself for his speechlessness. 'All these years, I've wanted to tell this man so much about how I've felt, and when I get my chance, I can't get the words right.' He thought angrily.

"The Preventers have every special forces soldier on record. I talked Sally into giving me your info." Heero said, but in his head, he added, 'I have known about this place for two years. I've seen this house several times; I just never had the courage to speak to you, until now.'

Duo nodded, dumbly. "So. How long are you here for?" he asked, not really wanting to know the answer. He suspected a bitch-slap fight brewing between the voices in his head, demanding that he ask him to stay permanently. However, Duo knew that Heero wasn't the kind to settle down.****

Muses:  
Man, don't be proud  
It's O.K. you're in love

Heero, as much as he wanted to, couldn't find the words to answer his friend. He took a drink of his water, and tried to clear his mind. "Hn." He started, brilliantly, "I haven't decided. A while." 'Be vague, you're good at that.' Someone in his head muttered bitterly. 'You're even better at pushing people away. Why even _try_ to hang on to this one?' Heero silenced the voice, but it was too late to squelch the feeling that rose up in him.

"Oh." Duo stated, sitting back in his chair, feeling defeated. Then, without thinking, "You can stay here, if you would like. For as long as you'd like." Duo cringed at the corniness of that statement, but prayed that his meaning was caught.

Heero didn't speak for a long time. He just sat thinking and drinking. And when his water glass was empty he sat it on the coffee table and looked directly at his host. "I would like that, Duo. To stay here."

Duo nearly squeaked in reply, but nodded his understanding. He moved to get up, mentioning a spare bedroom, but Heero rose with him and grabbed his arm in the steel grip Duo remembered too well. "Duo."****

Meg:  
Oh  
At least out loud,

Heero's voice was even deeper than it had been at their first meeting. Duo turned to look at the Wing pilot, and when their eyes met, the world disappeared. 'Did…he…just?" Duo's mind was spinning, the muses were gone, now came the moment of truth. "Heero." He said the boy's own name back to him.

"Duo. I didn't come here to…to just hang out with you." Heero stuttered, and cursed himself for it. 'Do it!' The voices said, and this time, Heero could not help up obey their command. Taking the braided pilot by the shoulders, he pulled him to stand in front of him.

'Very close.' The voices whispered—_chanted_ into Duo's ear, "Heero, what…?" was all that came out of his mouth. Duo swayed a little toward the other man, but caught himself in time to right his posture.

"I came here to say…" Heero was going on, and appearing to have a difficult time getting the words out.

Duo's eyes widened. 'He loves me.' He thought, muses forgotten, 'Heero came here to tell me—'

"I love you." Heero dropped his hands and stepped back, not looking at the other man.

Duo's mind was reeling. His thoughts spinning so fast, he had trouble holding on—but he shook his head, and stalked toward Heero. Lifting the boy's head, he took him into his arms and kissed him thoroughly. Heero had said the words he'd been too afraid to, and it was his turn to set things right. Tearing his mouth away from the Japanese boy, he leaned his face close to Heero's ear, "You didn't have to say it, Hee-chan, But I'm glad you did."

Heero wrapped his arms possessively around his braided baka, pressing their hips together so hard they both groaned. "I'm glad I said it too, Duo. I meant to make you mine a long time ago."

Duo was shocked but he grinned despite himself, "Then why waste another minute?" He kissed Heero again, harder, longer, hotter.

"Ninmu Ryoukai" Heero grinned, accepting his final mission with a flame in his eyes to last a lifetime.

**Meg:  
I won't say I'm in love…**

**© 2005 Aleesha Posey**

**(January 21, 2005)**


End file.
